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Stop Blaming and Start Problem Solving By Terry Bragg When problems occur within organizations, the typical response is for people to point fingers and blame someone else. This happens at all levels within the organization. Frontline employees blame upper management. Senior managers blame middle managers, and everyone blames the weather or the economy. When problems occur, placing blame usually does not help resolve the problems. I was presenting a management seminar to employees of a regional bank in Philadelphia. My company sent the course materials to a representative of the bank who had them delivered to the hotel. When I arrived at the room where we held the seminar, the course materials were not in the room. I contacted the hotel’s banquets department and a staff member searched for the materials. He couldn’t find them. I called the client, and was assured that they delivered the materials to the hotel’s front desk the previous evening. I went with the staff member to check at the front desk. The materials were not there. We asked the bellman to check the bellman’s closet. The bellman assured us that the materials were not there but said that it was his pleasure to check for us. As he predicted, the materials were not there. I told the bellman that it was my pleasure to give him the pleasure to check the other closet. He did but the materials were not there either. It was past the time for the seminar to start. The seminar participants sat, waiting for me to begin my presentation. This was an optimal time for an emotional breakdown or a tirade—by me, or by my client, or by the hotel staff. I could easily have ranted and raved about the incompetence of the hotel in losing the materials. I could have blamed the client for not taking better care of the materials and making sure they arrived at the seminar room. The hotel employees could have dismissed the problem by claiming they never received the materials. They could also have gotten upset and blamed me for wasting their time searching for something they never received. The client could have blamed the hotel for misplacing the materials or he could have blamed me for not checking on the materials the previous night. All of us could have found a way to blame the weather or the economy. We could easily have gotten upset and blamed each other. Yet, with all this blame, the materials would still be lost and the seminar delayed. Placing blame would not help find the materials or help me start my seminar. An emotional outburst or pointing fingers could have damaged our working relationship and prevented us from finding the materials. Eventually, by talking to the client on a cellular telephone while searching with the hotel employee, we worked together to find the seminar materials. The previous evening, a hotel security guard took the materials from the front desk and locked them in an office for safe keeping. Unfortunately, he didn’t tell anyone where he put them. When a problem occurs, instead of placing blame, apply the following principles to help resolve the problem faster and more satisfactorily: • Realize that blaming doesn’t help. Although placing blame may seem to give you relief or make you feel better, it rarely helps resolve conflict or solve problems. More often, blaming puts others on the defensive and causes them to stop cooperating with us. Blaming increases the emotional intensity of a conflict. Blaming also changes the focus of the parties involved in the conflict. Instead of searching for solutions or practical alternatives, the conflicting parties defend themselves from blame, and counterattack the other party. • Stop focusing on the negative. Look for the positive characteristics in others who are involved in the problem. Don’t define your relationship with them solely in terms of the conflict or the problem. • Look for the learning in the situation. What can you learn from the situation that will help you get better? What can you learn that will help you prevent the problem from recurring? • Concentrate on what you can do. Focus on what’s within your control. If something is not within your control, don’t worry about it because you can’t change it anyway. Although you can blame the weather or the economy, you can’t change either. • Don’t take it personally or too seriously. Remember the old adage, "don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff." When others blame you, realize that they are probably reacting to stress or pressure from the situation. Taking attacks personally puts you on the defensive. Don’t take it personally. Stay focused on solving the problem. When problems occur, resist pointing fingers and placing blame. You’ll solve problems faster and build better relationships by overcoming blame and working together to find practical options. Terry Bragg and Peacemakers Training offers a variety of tools for promoting, maintaining, and recognizing excellence in your workplace. We also offer tools for helping you achieve and maintain personal excellence. To learn more about these tools, click here: Tools for Workplace and Personal Excellence To find out more about Terry's book, 31 Days to High Self-Esteem, click here: 31 Days to High Self-Esteem To learn more about onsite seminars and workshops for improving interpersonal relationships, resolving conflict, and promoting and maintaining excellence in your workplace, click here: Seminars & Workshops ©2000 All rights reserved Terry Bragg•Peacemakers Training Terry Bragg runs a company called Peacemakers Training in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is the author of the book 31 Days to High Self-Esteem. He works with organizations to create a workplace where people want to work, and with managers who want their people to work together better. If you want your organization or your people to have more energy, more trust, more respect, and more meaning, please contact him at: Peacemakers Training Subscribe to our Free |
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