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Five Ways You Can Prevent MisunderstandingsBy Terry Bragg As a manager, you thought you gave clear and explicit instructions to your staff, but they did things differently than you told them to do. You spoke plain English. You know they understand English. So where is the problem? Is this insubordination, insurrection, or a normal day at the office? Misunderstanding is common. According to Richard Heyman, author of Why Didn’t You Say That in the First Place?, misunderstanding is normal because words have multiple meanings. How you understand words depends upon both context and content. Context is the who, what, when, where, why, and how of a situation. Say the same words in different contexts and you send different messages. You can send the same message many ways within the same context. According to Heyman, three aspects of communication have important consequences in our lives and in organizations.
Because of the vagueness and ambiguity of language, misunderstanding is normal. It is also costly. Misunderstandings cause you grief and waste your organization’s time and money in many ways. For example, you or your staff must redo work because you misunderstood the goal of the work or the instructions for doing the work. Your clients’ are unhappy because their needs are unclear and unfulfilled. You attend useless and unproductive meetings where no one understands the purpose of the meetings. Does this sound familiar? Mind reading is the basis of misunderstanding. We expect others to read our minds and fill in the blanks. When in frustration you exclaim, "what do you think I am . . . a mind reader?" The answer is, "yes." That’s exactly what people expect you to be and that is a root cause of misunderstanding. Shared context is the foundation of understanding. Heyman explains, "we create the context, whether consciously or not, by picking and choosing from among alternative interpretations of the situation." We create shared context by talking and asking questions. "We produce shared context through talk. We give explicit information that the listener might not have, and we ask questions to make sure what we have said is understood," explains Heyman. How to prevent misunderstandingYou prevent misunderstandings by using five specific communication tools to create a shared context and a common meaning: 1. Using phrases that sum up the talk. Phrases like:
2. Asking questions. Asking questions requires the other person to answer and help clarify our understanding. By asking questions, you indicate to the other person where you are having difficulty understanding. When someone is making a point, you can ask "how specifically . . .?", or "what specifically . . .?" 3. Paraphrasing. Sum up your understanding of what has been said. Active listening is a special form of listening where you reflect back both the content and the feeling the other person has expressed. Paraphrasing and active listening allow the other person to correct us if we have misunderstood them. Paraphrasing also assures them and that you have understood. This goes a long way in building relationships and shared contexts. 4. Using examples. Give an example to illustrate your point, or ask the other person to give you an example. Simply say, "for example . . ." 5. Telling stories. From ancient times, people have used stories to communicate ideas. You can tell stories supporting your message. You can also tell a story to make sure you have understood someone. For example, you might say "that’s like when . . ." Then tell your story to get confirmation from that your experience was similar or correction that the person’s meaning is different. Importance of trainingSome managers make the mistake of believing that just giving information assures understanding. It does not. Understanding comes from shared interpretation, not shared information. This is why training is so important for organizations. Training creates a shared experience and a shared context. A common mistake is to train only some employees. Companies send the troops to be trained without giving the managers the same training, or they train the managers without training the manager’s staff. The value of training is the common context that it creates. Ultimately, the secret to avoiding misunderstanding is to get people to talk about what they don’t understand. The meaning of your communication is the response you get. If you are not getting the response you want, you need to talk more. To improve understanding, use the five communication tools that help create shared context and meaning. Terry Bragg and Peacemakers Training offers a variety of tools for promoting, maintaining, and recognizing excellence in your workplace. We also offer tools for helping you achieve and maintain personal excellence. To learn more about these tools, click here: Tools for Workplace and Personal Excellence To find out more about Terry's book, 31 Days to High Self-Esteem, click here: 31 Days to High Self-Esteem To learn more about onsite seminars and workshops for improving interpersonal relationships, resolving conflict, and promoting and maintaining excellence in your workplace, click here: Seminars & Workshops ©2000 All rights reserved Terry Bragg•Peacemakers Training Terry Bragg runs a company called Peacemakers Training in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is the author of the book 31 Days to High Self-Esteem. He works with organizations to create a workplace where people want to work, and with managers who want their people to work together better. If you want your organization or your people to have more energy, more trust, more respect, and more meaning, please contact him at: Peacemakers Training
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